I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
