hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
