And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
