she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
