You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
