Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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