Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
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