They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
