I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
