were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
It's never too late to be topless.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
