Taylor Swift is so right about you.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
