Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
