Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
