We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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