Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
