I wish I could punch you in the face.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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