just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
It's rum buckets o'clock
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
