im having a threesome with these popsicles
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
