And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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