nut hugger
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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