Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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