but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
