one two three fourrrrnication!
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
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