I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I will be naked everywhere
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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