last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
