So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
