I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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