Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
