I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize