Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
