woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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