You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
