Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
