sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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