I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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