i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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