best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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