Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
