the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
