You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Randomize
