I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
