Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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