There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize