I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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