Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
