First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
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