Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize