I saw his package. It spoke to me.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
