I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
