Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
