If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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