she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
