If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
