This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
