I just saw a hot homeless man
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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