$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
