I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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