I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize