where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
