Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
