Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
